i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
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