there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
