Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Say something about gay babies.
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Randomize
