His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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