The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
