i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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