id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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