omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
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