She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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