I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
