So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize