you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
