Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Randomize
