Buhtt sex?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Randomize
