Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
