I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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