i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
you have to choose: penises or morals?
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize
