I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
