It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Just cropdusted the office
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I need to calm my uterus...
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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