Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
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