he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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