anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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