Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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