I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
