What a fucking waste of an outfit
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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