She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
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