I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
