1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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