I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
