$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
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