i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
