You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
