Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
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