Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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