How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
