did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We need to get me chipped asap
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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