i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
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