I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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