yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
