So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
