youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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