Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize