so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
She's the barista slut.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize