Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
