What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Randomize
