i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
