I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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