Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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