Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Your dad touched me again.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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