Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
