she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize