Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize