I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Randomize