PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Randomize