Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
