my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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