all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
