After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Randomize
