I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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