If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
