did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
