No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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