They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
