How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize