Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
