i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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