My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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